Baloney of thoughts

Waiting for Love

Monday left me broken

Tuesday I was through with hoping

Wednesday my empty arms were open

Thursday waiting for love, waiting for love

------------------------------------------------------------

Thank the stars it's Friday

I'm burning like a fire gone wild on Saturday

Guess I won't be coming to church on Sunday

I'll be waiting for love, waiting for love

To come around

Credits: Avicii Waiting for Love

Memories

Life is an ocean full of twists and turns

An endless journey filled with painful churns

The route is hidden and there is no map

Where we go round and round till the final nap.

Then we realize that there is no finish

but to keep travelling without any blemish

A deeper meaning bids us to be happy

A noble purpose but it is not so easy.

For happiness, we need comfort and love

which we look for in a chosen few

There starts what we call ‘Friendship’

Our ride for the voyage - The Unsinkable Ship

Within this friendship a web is cast

in which is stuck the memories of past,

day and day we ponder over it

falling deeper and faster into the pit.

But life is cruel and so are her devices

Time and space – those ever changing forces

The ship is gone

And the web is broken

Finally we are left with Memories

and that is all that matters

Life is such an unbelievable journey. No matter how hard you think or how deep you go, it never fails to surprise you. It is almost as unpredicatble as a humans themselves. No matter how good you think you know a person, a surprise is just around the corner. Probably all this is for the good. If we could decipher it so easily, we would have been bored out of our wits a long time ago.

But it is also extremely frustrating. It is like sitting on a crowded train not knowing where we have reached or when the journey will end. It is highly irritating not knowing where, why, what, and when. People keep coming in and out of our lives. So we make friends, some we just observe with that casual look of curiosity. The better half will add to your frustration and leaves you wanting for that one or two people in whose company, you can loose yourselves. Those one or two people who will make the journey a tad bit more exciting and bearable. But alas! People are as unpredicatable as life. Suddenly you find the frustration levels increasing like a thermometer dipped in a boiling water. The journey has taken a back seat. It is all about the 1 or 2 people now. The purpose has been long last. We find ourselves thinking if the journey was made only so that we could have met them. At some point the train will stop. What matters then?

I think the trick is to look out of the window little bit more.

In the mood for "Life is going down the drain"

Yes! I am angry.

I am irritated...I am hurt.

When I tried to go to that happy place...I feel like running away and hitting someone in the head.

The worst problem is "I don't have a freaking clue why I feel the way I feel"

Right now in this very instant, I hate people. I hate that they don't care. I also hate that they care. Of course I know that I am not going to do anything about it. Most probably I will remain distant and aloof, as I always do when I get into this mood. Hardly 2 or 3 people will even realize that I am in a bad mood and that too if I want to. I don't expect them to pamper me. But I cannot stand when they turn their face away either. I don't even know what I expect any more.

Oh Himalayas, where have you gone?

In my hour of need, you seem so distant.

Those glorious days when I escaped counting just one

into a world far away from this bewilderment.

A day or two and I know things will be back normal. But do I even want it to be normal. The same old scene will repeat once more weighed by the tiny different problems which would finally have gone too far to handle. Is it so bad to hope for a permanent solution? Is it so tough to actually find one? Right now I want to be free. Free to be angry. Free to take some time off and not care about anything else in the world. Free to figure it out and put an end to 'it'.

2012 Reading Challenge

Having realized, in one of those painfully guilty moment, that I don't read or write as much as I wanted to, I decided to follow some no-nonsense, practical measures to keep my love with books intact. A few clicks and couple of stumbles finally lead me to the '2012 Reading Challenge'. I initially thought of putting a target of some 100 books (Wow Alen Wow). That would mean 1 book every 3.65 days. Really not happening unless it is an year when I am completely jobless! So here it goes:

Target: 20 books

Finished: 13 books (what a lucky number)

How I feel: painfully guilty

Micro by Michael Crichton, March 30

What a start. One of the most absurd book I have ever read. A big fan of State of Fear and Congo, I thought it was a safe option to try Crichton. Alas! The book resembled a gargled vomit of words in which the author got neither the theme or the story right. Add to that he finds an innovative way to kill the hero towards the middle of the story. Even 30 pages to the end of the book, I was referring back to the initial pages to find out who is who. I swore I wouldn't touch a Crichton book after going through that ordeal.

So let us try someone new now. The Five Greatest Warriors by Matthew Reilly, April 20 2012. I had huge expectations after reading the synopsis. I had just quit Infy and was preparing for a very long vacation. What a way to start a vacation. I don't remember anything about the book now(apart from Jesus being one of the 5 warriors) which pretty much explains how the book was.

Am I maturing as a reader?? or is it just that my choices have gone bad...

Well never the one to quit so easily, it was time to go for the tried and tested path of finding good reads. I called my friend and asked him what he was reading. A Game of Thrones was an amazing find and A Song of Ice and Fire by Martin George kept me occupied for the next 20 days. For an avid fantasy fiction fan like me, the book was a must-read. Very mature! Definitely not something that I would recommend to my younger cousins. The author has also truly etched the true nature of power and politics in his brilliant narrative. The first 3 books were excellent but he went a little too far with the next two books needlessly dragging the story while explaining things to the minutest details. Even an author has to pay his bills and eat his meals I guess.

A bit of rest and I finally decided to try the Shiva Triology by Amish Tripathi, May 19 and May 20. The Immortals of Meluha was an enchanting book which took me completely by surprise. Both the books were sweet and short reads and kudos to the author. I hope he keeps innovating his style and philosophy unlike Chetan Bhagat. Anxiously awaiting for my pre-ordered copy of The Oath of the Vayuputras now.

Damn. Then MBA happened. I had heard stories of how Bschool life would eat ones time and life. Stories of sleepless nights and sleep-filled classes. Horrors of the never ending case studies, the ever stressful summers and the Time that just slips away from your hands. The next four months proved that all of them were true. By the time I took my next book The Perks of being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky, it was already September. But under the circumstances, I couldn't have asked for a better book. Different, thought-provoking and the second time I liked a book written in the letter format.

Enough is enough. Professors may not really care about our time, but I do! I started reading books in class and finished both How I Braved Anu Aunty and Co-Founded a Million Dollar Company by Varun Agarwal, September 19 and The Amulet of Samarkand by Jonathan Stroud, October 08. I don't enjoy reading in class like I used to do back in my school days. The profs are too disturbing and what the hell is "Class Participation".

But all was whisked away by the next book I read. A true classic which swept me off my feet at the very first page. Like many times It was my brother who suggested this book. It was magical two days as I poured on and on through the pages of The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zaffon, October 10. There are no words to explain this book. It took me to a world which I seemed to have forgotten long back and evoked emotions which surprised myself. I did shed a few tears and that for me is the biggest thing which any book or movie can do to me. It also remains the only book that I have given a 5 star rating in Goodreads through the entire reading challenge.

Tried and failed again. The Black Swan: The Impact of the Highly Improbable by Nassim Nicholas Taleb still remains in the unread list. I cannot remember how many times I have started reading this book without being able to finish it. A false start to The Winning Way: Learnings from sport for managers by Harsha Bhogle and it remains incomplete in the shelf. I have lost interest completely after reading some 300 pages of Like a Virgin: Secrets They Won't Teach You at Business by Richard Branson. I think I am just not cut out for reading these non-fiction books or maybe it is just a phase.

p.s. 2013 Reading Challenge...Target 25 books

p.p.s 2 Blogs in 10 days. OMG! I am on a roll

p.p.p.s This must be one of the longest post that I have ever published

p.p.p.p.s I still love post scripts

In the mood for 'Titles go to hell'

and suddenly it hits me that I have not made a single post in the entire year of 2012. My plan for redemption is to allow my dear blog two questions. Why only two? Well I cant think of a 3rd question that is why...

So what happened in 2012?

Oh yeah! The big life changing decision; I quit my job and decided to do an MBA. After going back to studies, I realized that it was never that much fun in the first place.

Got into my first major bike accident and that too on a 250 km biking trip. Not sure if it counts since I was not driving...hmmm!! The biggest takeaway from the accident is that my camera bag is super awesome. A 70 kmph fall and my DSLR is still intact. Not even a scratch.

The year yet again proved that I am sucker for relationships. Every wall that I had put between myself and others was shattered by some amazing people. Two years before, Infosys proved that life is more than just networking. I thought MBA will finally put an end to all this 'Friends' nonsense and drive some cold hearted, realistic, no nonsense networking skills into my arsenal. Alas! I don't know half the people in my college(so much for networking) and I made FRIENDS in a b-school (imagine the horror).

So what about 2013?

Well what about it! I have no freaking clue what is going happen this year. But I do know that I am amazingly happy these days (God knows why...) and perhaps it will be another awesome year like Mr. 12.

Second Leap of Faith

Switching off from your Blog is not a nice act. It is easy but not nice.

On that cold night in the 1st of January 2011, I suddenly felt I needed a reason to blog. Thought hard. Thought weird. But sadly enough I really couldn't find anything which explained why I keep on writing stuff which could not be 'label'ed in any sort of way. It was a leap of faith. A belief that discarding something unreasonable in life can be as much of a life changer as accepting something new.

Today I realized I am quite the narcissist. I like my writing. I like reading what I write. In fact I like it more than most of what other's write.

Work is seriously boring. It has taken a turn for the worst and I feel like a slave when I think about Office. I am sure a real slave would be insulted. I rephrase - I feel like slaving relative to others in my business. Any work without your mind and passion in it is boring.

Toastmasters has been the single most wonderful thing which happened in the last few months. What a refreshing thought to go to one of those TM meetings and just unwind. Doing what you like is a gift from heaven.

I am confused still. Somethings simply don't change.

This blog is going to take a different turn. After all, a leap is nothing but a turn in disguise.

Happy New Year

4 years earlier, if any one had asked me how I would feel about my blog at this juncture, I wouldn't have been able to comment. I remember my first post with that whacky reference to 'Team Rockets'. Feels nostalgic and nice to see what I was back then and how much (or how little) I have changed.

Over the past few years, so much has happened to my life.
Stopped Studying.
Got a job.
Got a taste of the great IT life.
Reached that point where I wished I was back studying.
Got angry.
Got Betrayed.
Learned the virtue of patience.
Learned how difficult it is to follow a virtue.
Fell in love for the first time.
Believes that love is always and always one-sided.
Got many friends.
Learned the importance of friendship and the fickleness too.
Read so much. Wrote so much. Learned so much.
Feels so good when I realize I am still hungry for more.
Learned finally the importance of family.
Believes that one should never sacrifice oneself for anything. Between the trade-offs, it is just not worth it.
Thought so much about life.(Somethings never change)
After many epiphanies, I am still thinking about life. No end to that. I like it that way.

I have been planning lot of things. Should do something about a couple of them. Time to shed the life of a romantic. It needs a leap of faith. Perhaps this is the day. Perhaps this is the blog. Perhaps this is also the day when I say goodbye to 'Baloney of Thoughts'.

She is wonderful. Period.

Uncontrollable, vivacious, like a soothing river taking turns in the never ending valley. I tried following her flow and it put me in a trance. She is much too deep for me. The smooth ebb on her surface is but a cover of her unfathomable reach. Few can hope to see it revealed, even fewer will actually find that hope ensue. I tried. Was there any other option? Like a romantic lost for words, actions and even thoughts, I just tried. In the manner of speaking, I tried without even trying. She was indecipherable. Almost like a badly written story, one, whose author might have found his own creation too cosmic to give it away that freely.

So what am I? Am I the puppet? More than a puppet. A willing slave to every untamed gesture from her. I am free. Free to do everything for her. In her footsteps I have long bequeathed my life. She changes her color every minute and every second in between those minutes. Like a Chameleon, she is too hard to grasp and even harder to hold on too and every time, you are taken deeper down. I know what is going to happen to me. But she already has me in her hands. No Escape. I don’t want to escape. I have long decided to find the end.

She is going to make another turn and I, as always, will follow. The swirls will get wilder, the turns more pronounced. She will make my life tough. But I have long decided to find the end.

This is life and she is wonderful.

Revelation

26/12/2006. The day had many specialties. It was one day after Christmas, one of my best friend managed to start his account in the world around 19 years earlier on the same day and someone died on that day. I dont exactly remember who died. He must be a relative of mine. I remember clearly taking my Grandma to see his body. But like so many of our generation, I was too pre-occupied to ask how I was related to the deceased. He had visited our house earlier and even gifted me a T-shirt. I remember him clearly as a giant of a man, cheerful and very friendly too. Hence it felt pretty weird to see his body lying there dead and all life gone. I didn feel any grief or even sadness. After all I hadnt known him enough. That night I started writing 'Genesis'.

In many ways death is the greatest thing about life. It is a surety which breaks through all the confusion that is so typical of Life. In many ways it also the biggest yardstick for living. Nothing helps you to prioritize life more than death. You cannot do it when someone close to you dies. The grief which engulfs our body also poisons our thoughts. But death as an abstract philosophical thought conveys lot of meaning to life.

I wrote 'Transition' on 27/12/2006 and 'Revelation' on 28/1/2007. This completes my 'LIFE' Trilogy. For a very long time, I have been thinking real hard whether to put 'Revelation' on this blog. It seemed only normal to put it and complete the trilogy. But the truth is I dont agree to revelation in many ways. I have had the revelation and life has not shifted any planes in one giant sweep. Now when I think abt it, revelation should have came second in order between Genesis and Transition. It is like the words "If all Genesis should end in a revelation, then all life is but a transition". Thus the words should mean that the real revelation should come after life. Maybe its like what the movies say, just when we are going to die, the whole life will flash in front of us. Maybe thats the time for revelation.

Revelation
(28/01/2007)

Hidden carefully in the rocky hedges
seen seldom but in the mighty cliffs
revealed only with a trembling ecstasy
the purpose of life is nothing but joy.

It’s path is split into mighty roads
Of sand and water, with forks and turns
Be it the mighty ocean or the unrivalled heat,
the treasure is found but in both.

A palace of such glory in the middle of the desert
A desolate road through heat and dust
A looming mirage always surging ahead
Until death a joyful experience indeed.

The golden bubble splashes on your face
It’s cool gaze tampering your pace
An insane doctor with a twisted smile
His weapon of choice is nothing but love

The mighty roads are paths of freedom
of justice and truth, not decisions in random
‘Survive’ the storm and the scorching heat?
The agony of Hades – eternal fate!

Worth is money and love it’s price
The most selfish act which hide no lies
You will walk through the gates of heaven
Rejoice, love in soul for the ultimate one.

P.s. I started writing this post on 3rd May 2009. 1 year, 5 months and 8 days later. I am still confused as to whether I should post it or not...

Life is free... Life is cruel. It has thrown us into this world without anything in particular to be done. There was the age when conventional lifestyle embedded in our thinking by parents, teachers and the society at large allowed us to live without any thought. But that age is past...lost.

When one discover the freedom to think, does he ever wonder on the magnanimity of what lies ahead. Of what that freedom can do to you. Of what will happen if we fail to find an answer.

The sparrow lashed it's wings
In midway flight, it looks above
In it's mind something rings
forgot to fly, it dipped low
Crash!! What death brings
is an end. Nothing new.

Death is inevitable. Fair. A perspective to an otherwise chaotic life... One certain thing in a life of uncertainties...

At the end of the day, what is the point? One has to wait till the end to get the point...I guess!!!

A car ride and what it can do to you

Today I dropped off my brother to his workplace and was returning back home. The nightmarish traffic in Bangalore means that every car ride will have an adventure of its own and by no means would be a small affair. Stuck in traffic, listening to the hymn of "Hossana from Vinayethandi Varuvayya by A.R.Rahman", eyes gazing at the sights afar, one hand resting on the gearbox and another on the side pane, I suddenly found another member for my list.

The list - Yes! That is a long story. The story starts with my best friend who introduced me to the concept of bucket list. I still don't know much about her list or how much she had completed it. But for a person who was having difficulty in even forming the list, completing it was totally out of question.There are very few - that which can be counted in my hands- things in my list. The only one which could be mentioned over here must be to have a personal library of my own. Quite an exotic image appears in my mind when I think about MY library - But I guess it will still have to wait. For now I am happy hunting for the books which will finally make it to my library.

But today I could come up with another one. A car ride through a desolate (occasional traffic is fine ;) and bullocks are also permitted) road. 60 Kmph seems a nice pace. I am obviously driving. It would be wonderful to have someone(?) sit besides me. For now I would be listening to "Hossana" but I am pretty sure that would change by that time. No A.C.! Windows rolled down and I like the air warm. Not much work for the gear shaft which means something to drink by my side. The occasional fields, forests, beaches and the ROAD. The setting is pretty exotic but if not why put it in the bucket.

I am confused beyond wits. An "Emotional Atyachar" in a sense. I feel peaceful, taken away into this distant dream. But somehow an invisible voice is ringing in my ears making it turbulent. Last 8 months were wonderful. New! Exciting! But... I wanted it to be something more. Greedy thoughts. I did nothing towards my bucket list. Whatever was left in the pipeline is still there. Not rotting down. But definitely subdued by the lack of pressure in the pipe. It is as if it has a mind of its own and is suddenly asking me : Dude Are you serious about all these things?

My answer: Read my blog :)

Milkshake

Courtesy: Before Sunrise

Daydream delusion, Limousine Eyelash
Oh, baby with your pretty face
Drop a tear in my wineglass
Look at those big eyes
See what you mean to me
Sweet cakes and MILKSHAKES
I am a delusion angel
I am a fantasy parade
I want you to know what I think
Don't want you to guess anymore
You have no idea where I came from
We have no idea where we're going
Launched in life
Like branches in the river
Flowing downstream
Caught in the current
I'll carry you. You'll carry me
That's how it could be
Don't you know me... Don't you know me by now

Weird thing about life is the uncertainty that it throws in your way every now and then. I think my last post covered this particular dilemma, and in quite detail. These are the times when my level of desperation tips over the red zone. But despite the cynicism, I always find myself, what's the term - 'back to the drawing board' after these occasional bouts. This is a period of calm or if described a little more adjectivally - like the lull after a storm. When the out-pour of emotions, be it happiness, grief or anxiety simply cease to exist because the body has somehow adjusted to the chemicals.

Right now I have re-discovered life.
Will it be any different?
Past experience doesn't support my cause. Maybe just another 'thing' which will go back along with the thousand other times when such discoveries were made.
Someone says 'Man's mind, stretched by a new idea, never goes back to its original dimensions" - I take hope from these words.

Even though every part of your bundled network of neurons says it is not true, "sometimes all that is required for a paradigm change is a birthday, a speech or an inspiring talk, a new experience, meeting a person, a kiss, one fine bath or even a few words in your blog saying "I am different now"

[Titles are overrated]... for now

Aah! The frog just jumped from the pan... u cannot complain since heavy chance that it has heard about its proverbial cousin... But the frog needs to be killed coz if not the whole world is in danger - come to think abt it when has the world never been in danger - hm-mm! ny ways back to the frog which is trotting arnd the garden apparently not realizing the fact that it has broke the most sacred of rules...I am still staring at the frog trotting in the garden...

What is this thing with life? Just when you thought you go the hang of it - KABOOM! I like it when I don't know what to do...

Yep I am thinking about the invisible army that needs to be conjured to kill this blasphemous-no respect for rules-trotting arnd the garden unnecessarily frog. Plato would probably help. Aristotle - I am not sure.

I dont see why I would need any of them to kill this 'stupid' (the word means awfully lot of different things) frog. But when u dont know what to do, its always good to have someone along with u...and what...If u are a good a**, then get the other person to do it.

At this point of story, I think (really?), I should say what I have got against this FROG. Dont u c..if the forg had just stayed then everything taht was ever written would have been enough. Not anymore.

Wherz the frog?

I like the movies. I like it when the on-screen gaints put life before you in such simple terms...Like they chew entire books of philosophy and spit out a word or two and that is all tat means to life. the question is - Is life taht simple. Can it be summed up in two words or a thousand or even voulmes of books. Or is it the inevitable thirst of man to comprehend the nature that is at work. To simpify things.. To make out a pattern. To put ut in in simple terms bcoz complex isnt his cup of tea... Maybe life is complex... too complex. One that changes too much for any sort of absolute. Not even an absolute of change. Not even an absolute of unpredictability. To complex to be put in words. Something that should not be solved.

Well the frog escaped. Why the hell am I still here...

p.s. This blog is a reminder to all my friends who continually ask me to put my uncensored and uncompleted blogs. This is my way of saying ...'You had it coming".....I wouldnt be putting ny more....I love u guys too much....This all doesnt mean I cannot say the same to you.

p.p.s. No frogs were hurt in the making of this story... :D sorry but could not help it

p.p.s I still like movie quotes...the one that i could think of now...

Dark and difficult times lie ahead. Soon we must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy.

p.p.p.s I like post scripts and post post..... scripts.

A tryst with chicken

Learning life skills is the new item on menu and I am all raring to go. Forget the noodles, roast and the occasional helping out in kitchen; I am really pathetic when it comes to cooking. If I myself didn’t know that till now, well yesterday was a day of reckoning.

I finally got the go ahead to do a fish fry. Confidence was brimming since I got loads of experience in the frying part from previous helping. But this time around it was different. The finer points of cooking skills, like cleaning, cutting and masala mixing was also tested. The one word that could describe the whole process is ' Frightening'. The fish looked like it came straight from a post-mortem after the cleaning. Well that is how my brother described it anyway. After the marinating part, one could attribute it to a “cover up job of a murder victim gone astray”. I hoped the looks wouldn’t hamper the taste as much as the appetite. But that was not to be so. The masala didn’t set properly in the meat and finally we had to eat some raw pieces of garbled fish that would have put even prehistoric man to shame.

Never to give up that easily, today was the turn of chicken. The pieces were already cut properly by the butcher. So one job less to mess up. My mom having finally learned a painful lesson not to pin too much hope on me gave a hands on teaching of how to do 'broasted chicken'. The marinating, the mixing and the frying went pretty well. I even got ingredients right. I may have over fried a couple of pieces but guess what - not only was the whole stuff tasty, but it was also my first successful endeavour in the kitchen. One more thing to brag about in the blog. Chao :)

:) :D :( :)

A tinge of sorrow, lots of happiness and memories that maketh life. This is how I am gonna step down from Bethany Student Centre - My home for the last two years. This will be the last blog from my dear hostel. Funny!! Thinking how the next post will divide blog into a pie. The larger part comprising of the musings of a Bethanian and the smaller of an ex-bethanian. In time the pie will change its mix i.e. If I continue blogging. But I hope the memories in this place wont disappear as easily as the shrinking part of the pie.

The whole 'home' trotting started right after from entrance exam. My mother realized enough is enough and proposed to move into the city. After all nothing should stand in the way of a repeater to reach into the halls of some reputed college. A massive place but with no ambiance, is how I describe our first attempt at city life. I was amazed at how easily my mom adapted to this new life while I spent half the time grumbling about - well basically everything in life. 2 months later - It was goodbye to our house and my repeat course in Zephyr as I finally joined MBCET as a Mechanical engineer. It is weird how to think how life would have been had I taken a different path.

The second so called house was as different as chalk and cheese when compared to first. A warmer house owner, very small rooms (well one hall, bedroom and a kitchen for the three of us - There is no question of space thats for sure), wonderful ambiance and two totally different personalities. I found the life very refreshing especially since Mech class was wonderful. Not quite the same for my mother who had to take 3 buses to reach her place of work. The grind followed and off we packed our bags again. At this point of time, me and my brother had become excellent at packing and moving - Another life skill learnt.

The 3rd move was to be the end of the 3 musketeers - at least for some time. My mother went abroad to live with my father. Bro packed his bags and went off to Infosys and I was left off at the only alternative to the whole situation - College Hostel. It need not be said that I hated it there - It got little to do with my hostel mates and everything to do with the college. To live or better - to 'survive' college is an arduous task enough. One that need constant support from all corners especially your friends. But to go through this charade and come back to a hell of different kind is too unbearable. Also for a person who respects his privacy beyond any measure - hostel life can be tough. I got very little from hostel except my room mate who turned out to be a wonderful friend. Finally enough was enough and I packed my bags again. A brief stint at home and off I was to my home away from home - Bethany Student Centre.

I recall how frightened I was at arriving here. Very different from my previous experiences and very different for a 3rd year too. In every manner this is the only place which I could call a home away from home. Here I made friends but was never expected to sacrifice my space. Here I respected people and was in turn respected by others. Here I worked my ass out for the different activities and finally got the satisfaction which was much needed. This is a wonderful place with so diverse characters that it is impossible not to experience a change in yourself. Your thoughts, your views, your principles, your actions. Everything changes. I still remember:

2 in the nite with a coffee cup in hand watching the Manutd Chelsea UEFA final. Nail-bitting finish. Countless such occasions shared with the ever present football communtiy at Bethany.
100 people glaring at the screen throwing obsenities at each other on the eve of the two IPL's.
Sitting so many times in the raised platform after a match of football - just enjoying the site.
Sleeping so late, waking so early, countless nite-outs. I still remember sleeping at 2 in the nite after decorating christmas tree nd waking at 4 to go to the market to buy fish for the feast.
The wonderful mess we ( ME , JACOB and MANU) did which featured some exciting dishes - toasts on sundays, chilly chicken on mini-feast and biriyani on feast day.
The card games between the awesome four (ME, JACOB, SALIM and SUBIN).
The 2009 Lok sabha in front of TV with a heated discussion about politics between the engineers, doctors, IAS aspirants and the list goes on.
Such diverse topics from politics, theology , bikes, technolgy, love, sex etc. (I really dont think there is any category we haven talked about)
and (there is so much more) The final farewell (Abi chetan, Ambu, Rolly, Lee, Raghu, Salim, Jacob and me) where I totally felt ' This are the best days of my life' (Corny ..I know..but isnt so life??)

This is one place which I would miss to live and would love to live again.

The wall

Run Fat boy Run - A movie which I watched recently which features a typical looser and his attempt to shed his past by featuring in the annual London marathon. But most importantly, the movie presents to the audience a paradigm call 'THE WALL'. The wall is an invisible obstruction that every runner should face at some time during the marathon. You limbs go week. You heart bleeds for air. You feel dizzy. Every step forward becomes excruciatingly painful and every breath asks you to give up. ( I see the movie has made an effect on me).

In many ways, in the world of blogosphere, this is my condition . For the past few months I have been really trying to write blogs and ended up with at least 10 half written un-presented blogs and even worse a couple of badly written presented ones. Is this my try at whining . I really don't know. The point is half way through every post , I hit the wall. I felt what I have written is not good enough and well there isn't anything to write further even.

* I just hit the wall *

Post Election Blues

My thoughts about putting such a blog has been flip - flop. Ofcourse, the prediction will not alter the result in any manner. Had it been, I wouldn't have choosen to do so either. Actually I kind of feel the same way during a fantasy premeir league match or the erstwhile superselector league. To take a shot in the dark and then wonder how close you are to the original. I have been so engrossed in this election for the past few months that I am starting to feel ashamed of the same. To such heights as to ask the question "Why waste your time". The so called battle of politks is so much against the spirit of the country that it wouldnt be surprising if there is another election within the next two years. All that - may be in another blog.

Here is my prediction for Lok Sabha Polls from Kerala.

UDF = 12
Ernakulam, Pathanamthita, Thrissur, Chalakudi, Wayanad, Ponnani, Malapuram, Mavelikara
Close call: Kottayam, Alapuzha, Trivandrum,

LDF = 8
Kasargod, Vadakara, Kannur, Alathoor, Palakkad
Close call: Kozhikode, Attingal, Kollam, Idukki

BJP = 0
But I expect them to do a good show in Trivadrum, Palakkad and Kasargod.

NCP = 0
Party crashers. Mureleedharan may turn out to be a dark horse in Wayanad. But maybe not tmmrw.

My constituency - Trivandrum

Too many under currents. BJP and BSP could split the votes in a major way. NCP factor is also present. All in all a tight race . I am taking a blind guess when I predict Shashi Tharoor to beat Ramachandran Nair. But either way the win margin is gonna be small.

A photofinish match

A match like no other. It was not the quality of play that made this match memorable nor the context. It was that one single moment in the 93rd minute of the game when Inneista scored the winning goal for Barcelona. YEP!! I just saw the semi-finals of the UEFA champions league. Barcelone defeated Chelsea (1-1) on away goals. Another minute or so without a goal and Chelsea would have raced to the finals of the most coveted trophy in club football. But that was not to be so.

With all due sympathy for Chelsea, that moment was really beautiful. The game was really dominated by Chelsae. Barca never seemed like scoring, nd if my stats are right, I think the winning goal was the first shot on target too. But suddenly without even a faint warning, they scored. The 3/4th of the stadium clad in Blue, who were celebrating (from the 9th minute onwards) suddenly silenced. But even this pain is no comparison to the one felt by the coach nd players.

I still wonder. How do they take it?? I have never experienced something like this. To want something so much, to get it in yours hand's range and then to loose it in a single fleeting moment.

But then again like every time, they would rise up. After the break down, the silent thoughts, the pep talks nd the rising excitement, the same players would come to the field for another match. Maybe a prayer in thier mind that 'Not this time'.

My heart condolences to Chelsea in this great loss. Best of luck to Barca for the finals. (They would need it. They are gonna face Manchester United :) in the finals)