My thoughts about putting such a blog has been flip - flop. Ofcourse, the prediction will not alter the result in any manner. Had it been, I wouldn't have choosen to do so either. Actually I kind of feel the same way during a fantasy premeir league match or the erstwhile superselector league. To take a shot in the dark and then wonder how close you are to the original. I have been so engrossed in this election for the past few months that I am starting to feel ashamed of the same. To such heights as to ask the question "Why waste your time". The so called battle of politks is so much against the spirit of the country that it wouldnt be surprising if there is another election within the next two years. All that - may be in another blog.

Here is my prediction for Lok Sabha Polls from Kerala.

UDF = 12
Ernakulam, Pathanamthita, Thrissur, Chalakudi, Wayanad, Ponnani, Malapuram, Mavelikara
Close call: Kottayam, Alapuzha, Trivandrum,

LDF = 8
Kasargod, Vadakara, Kannur, Alathoor, Palakkad
Close call: Kozhikode, Attingal, Kollam, Idukki

BJP = 0
But I expect them to do a good show in Trivadrum, Palakkad and Kasargod.

NCP = 0
Party crashers. Mureleedharan may turn out to be a dark horse in Wayanad. But maybe not tmmrw.

My constituency - Trivandrum

Too many under currents. BJP and BSP could split the votes in a major way. NCP factor is also present. All in all a tight race . I am taking a blind guess when I predict Shashi Tharoor to beat Ramachandran Nair. But either way the win margin is gonna be small.

A match like no other. It was not the quality of play that made this match memorable nor the context. It was that one single moment in the 93rd minute of the game when Inneista scored the winning goal for Barcelona. YEP!! I just saw the semi-finals of the UEFA champions league. Barcelone defeated Chelsea (1-1) on away goals. Another minute or so without a goal and Chelsea would have raced to the finals of the most coveted trophy in club football. But that was not to be so.

With all due sympathy for Chelsea, that moment was really beautiful. The game was really dominated by Chelsae. Barca never seemed like scoring, nd if my stats are right, I think the winning goal was the first shot on target too. But suddenly without even a faint warning, they scored. The 3/4th of the stadium clad in Blue, who were celebrating (from the 9th minute onwards) suddenly silenced. But even this pain is no comparison to the one felt by the coach nd players.

I still wonder. How do they take it?? I have never experienced something like this. To want something so much, to get it in yours hand's range and then to loose it in a single fleeting moment.

But then again like every time, they would rise up. After the break down, the silent thoughts, the pep talks nd the rising excitement, the same players would come to the field for another match. Maybe a prayer in thier mind that 'Not this time'.

My heart condolences to Chelsea in this great loss. Best of luck to Barca for the finals. (They would need it. They are gonna face Manchester United :) in the finals)

April 16 marks the first phase of the 2009 election for LS Polls. To me its very special coz its my first vote or my 'kanni' vote. It feels really good. For years, I had this terrible feeling that I never do ny ting for my country. Now I ask - should I?? India is the largest democracy of the world and is making an ass out of it. The subject of politics is too diverse and complex to be analyzed over a blog like this, so I will pass it. In many ways, I am so typical of the new generation of youth - 'the youngistan's. I am not that patriotic ny more - the erstwhile history and geography leasons we learned in our school forgotten long ago. I dont have ny loyalities - every party is a facade. I dont believe in any candidates. The ones who have already been there are all shrewd, tactical, self -serving and f#$&*# morons in one way or another. There are a couple of new guys in the block, but history shows that it wont be long before they are also 'politicized' by our system. But what really put me off was the candidate list in in northern parts of our country. Murders, extortion, vandalizing - all of them are laurels on their political career. Stars used to decorate and show off their stature.

" Hey! You only have 3 murders to ur list. I have 4."

"Oh really, Ok u rightly deserve the candidate post"

The only common thread between all the parties (National or regional) is that when it comes to everything bad abt our democracy, they are all up for it.

I remember yesterday talking to a friend of mine. A passionate loyalist to his party. He was by all means engaged in the election and was canvasing for his favourite candidate. He later confessed to me one thing - When it comes to politics, almost everyone is ignorant. Now thats the only thing I agreed with him that day :).

But still with everything. I feel it is the right and responsibilty of every Indian to vote. If someone wants to change the system, well and good. But till then, go cast your votes. If you dont, they will win any way. It doesnt matter if there is 80% polling or 20%, the election stands and someone wins. The point is, then the choice is left to an even narrow minded group. It is rightly said that:

In many ways, this is 'THE' election for me. No only being my first, I am also very intrested to know what lies ahead, I hope I dont have to think abt visas and immigration. I have done what I think is , my part in this election. I know every candidate in my constituency (Atleast the importent ones). I know most of the candidates in the state, their chances, their party agendas, the virtues and vice (even though most of them are pack of lies). I heard many of their speech and threw up and listened to even more. I have tried to keep the 'national perspective' in the equation, but good god !! The only thing I can say is that the field is wide open. I put myself through lot of canvasing. I called a friend of mine day b4 yesterday to wish him vishu and he canvased me for 45 min (Bloody idiot :D, but then again I like talking politics). But at the end of canvasing, I have not promised to ny one ny ting. Yes!! I have a favourite candidate and I have looked at evrything I could abt him (well not everything....but the general facts). After all this, I was specific not to influnce any one to vote for any party bcoz then I would be veryy much part of the sytem that I loath. I have been an undecided voter even today but knew exactly who to vote when I was in the polling booth. I went and cast my vote in the early hours (the radio warned me of false votes towards the end of voting). I wouldnt say who I voted - not even to God. This is me being an Indian :)

P.S. - Now waiting for 30 days of pure entertainment.

P.P.S - Btw my friend promised he will shave his head off, if his candidate looses. Now thats an example of a promise he cant keep - already a poltitician :D

The story is about five clowns studying in the 'Blah Blah' Nursery of 'Chori'-craft and 'Chori'-zardy. The Nursery is run by the greatest Choris of all time. In an effort to Chori innocent people and to make this world more chorifying, the 'Blah Blah' Nursery has a grueling 4 year 'Chori' course. There are so many disciplines of chori run by different Chori- OD's. Basically they are same - like colored water. Then when they reach the final sem of the final year after 3 and 1/2 grueling years of chori, the students have to face the 'mother of all chori's' - 'The Project-ion'.

'Persistent Leader' - The master deceiver. He uses his straight face to befriend 'Chori' mongers. This has saved the cult in quite a few occcasions. But honestly he is a 'klay'.

MR Business man(BMR) - He is the echo of the cult and uses his facial muscles nonchalently. The obvious listener may be confused beyond means. He is a passionate runner and is said to have a keen interest in shoes.

The Charming Princess - Good looks and raunchy jokes apart, the guy has a special abilty to charm people. But it works more at getting additonal (and totally undeserved) se'x'ional marks rather than dates with his countless girlfriends.

The smart A** - Descriptions are know to vary.

Kidu - So Says Himself" - A person who likes to think he looks good. While he is a 'pulli' (read:Tiger) he can turn into a totally different person on wearing a red hat. Now seems totally committed to pass his GUPPLI'S (or GUPPLEMENTARIES). Even despite much hardship, he continues to fail in subjects including 'Dictation', 'Walking with toes pointed forwards' and 'Talking using Two letter English Words'.


In order to pass the degree, the clowns were supposed to do a 'project-ion' in the final semester. It was then that the 'Group 4' decided to do their 'project-ion' in some industry. 'The Charming Princess' was given the task to find a suitable place. After all he is the Master of 'Project-ion' rght?? Thus the Clowns find themselves staring into the gates of Cowputra.

Now Cowputra is one of the premier institutions in the whole nation. Their expertise include aiming certain pointed stuff at sky and 'bang'ing them half way through thus loosing millions of rupees in process. They are also know to help students with the 'project-ion'. Students who have their 'project-ion' at cowputra is said to have an enhanced (or high profile) project-ion which will later help them to find jobs. They were told by the 'Blah Blah' that better project-ion means better job prospects.

Thus the 'Group 4' spend around 6 months working on their project-ion. Now the process of project-ion in an industry is very different from individual 'project-ions'. The better part of it is done in front of the gate. The usual project-ion needs atleast a 2 hour wait, while the gaurds there discuss about the security concerns relating to the cowputra. I mean if someone infiltrates the facility and made any changes to the pointed stuff. Then it may NOT 'blow' up half way through. Oh!! That must be scary. IT may actually reach the target - Gee that is a big dissapointment. Oh wait May be they are afraid someone will steal the research material - Oh as if the whole world is intrested in knowing how to 'bang' half way through the projectile.


Aah Yes the 5 clowns are required to give a status of the 'project-ion' in a review back at Blah Blah. Around half way through, suddenly the people at Blah Blah say that this is not enough. We will only get less credit, because apparently our individual contribution to the 'project-ion' not good enough. Apparently they wanted 'project-ions' to be more 'Hands on'. Infact in our selected discipline they like to get our hands dirty so as to say:)


In an effort to work with their hands and increase the profile of their 'project-ion', the clowns started to work even more. Another 3 months they toiled. They went to places, visited more nurseries, talked with lots of people on how to increase (the profile of course!) of our 'project-ion'. Finally They included an analysis of the projection, some comparison between local and cowputra material used for project-ion and even some hand on approach. All seems to go well.


Phone Ringing
CA: You cannot achieve 'project-ion' here.
Persistant Leader (PL): But Why sir?? We tried for 6 months.
CA: Your time was 6 months. u need to extend the date to do ny more project-ion
PL: OK Sir! We will extend the date.

(The clowns spend another 2 weeks trying to extend the date and paid around 12500 Rs in the process)

Phone Ringing
CA: We cannot extend your date!
PL: But Sir!! Why??
CA: There is a directive banning any more 'Student project-ions' here.In Industry these things are important. So U have to go.
PL: But Sir! We have almost finished our project-ion. But we need your certificate to validate it.
CA: We will think abt it

(After another 2 Weeks)

CA: Sorry But it is not possible.
PL(Fed up): OK Sir! Can we have the money back??
CA: Sure But we will take some time to process it. Also we are busy this time around. We got a 'miss-ile' to blow up half way through.

(It is like you are about to Bang and they say Stop!! Around 7 Months of 4play and suddenly they withdraw permission to do s'e'x. WTF!!)
The clowns got permission to do their project-ion in another industry. They need to start anew and finish the project-ion in 2 months time. Apparently this industry liked very fast project-ions. But then again at this point WHO CARES?? The clowns visited, called and pleaded for their money for another Month. Finally Cowputra agreed to give their money back. One fine morning when smart a** was sleeping.

Phone Ringing
Charming Princess: Get up! Come fast to Cowputra! They need all the people to give the money back.
smart a**: WHY the hell. Why cant they just give it to u?? IT is not like they are going to give suitcases filled with money.
CP: Just come fast !! Apparently this is how they do it in industries.

Smart a** reflecting: Aah So this is what industries teach us. WE learned more abt chori from 7 months of cowputra than 4 years in Blah Blah.

That noon the five clowns left the cowputra gate for the last time, their pocket 2500Rs a peice richer. For the first time there was a smile lingering on their faces!!

P.S. This story is not a comedy. The author never intended this piece to be comical. He may have intended to hurt few imaginary souls and sarcastically bash certain customs and institutions. Any comical gestures (mainly dry and sarcastic) are only means to achieve this effect.

P.P.S: The Charming princess is advised not to take this matter any further. The IRONBOX will be too hot for him to handle then.