Switching off from your Blog is not a nice act. It is easy but not nice.

On that cold night in the 1st of January 2011, I suddenly felt I needed a reason to blog. Thought hard. Thought weird. But sadly enough I really couldn't find anything which explained why I keep on writing stuff which could not be 'label'ed in any sort of way. It was a leap of faith. A belief that discarding something unreasonable in life can be as much of a life changer as accepting something new.

Today I realized I am quite the narcissist. I like my writing. I like reading what I write. In fact I like it more than most of what other's write.

Work is seriously boring. It has taken a turn for the worst and I feel like a slave when I think about Office. I am sure a real slave would be insulted. I rephrase - I feel like slaving relative to others in my business. Any work without your mind and passion in it is boring.

Toastmasters has been the single most wonderful thing which happened in the last few months. What a refreshing thought to go to one of those TM meetings and just unwind. Doing what you like is a gift from heaven.

I am confused still. Somethings simply don't change.

This blog is going to take a different turn. After all, a leap is nothing but a turn in disguise.

4 years earlier, if any one had asked me how I would feel about my blog at this juncture, I wouldn't have been able to comment. I remember my first post with that whacky reference to 'Team Rockets'. Feels nostalgic and nice to see what I was back then and how much (or how little) I have changed.

Over the past few years, so much has happened to my life.
Stopped Studying.
Got a job.
Got a taste of the great IT life.
Reached that point where I wished I was back studying.
Got angry.
Got Betrayed.
Learned the virtue of patience.
Learned how difficult it is to follow a virtue.
Fell in love for the first time.
Believes that love is always and always one-sided.
Got many friends.
Learned the importance of friendship and the fickleness too.
Read so much. Wrote so much. Learned so much.
Feels so good when I realize I am still hungry for more.
Learned finally the importance of family.
Believes that one should never sacrifice oneself for anything. Between the trade-offs, it is just not worth it.
Thought so much about life.(Somethings never change)
After many epiphanies, I am still thinking about life. No end to that. I like it that way.

I have been planning lot of things. Should do something about a couple of them. Time to shed the life of a romantic. It needs a leap of faith. Perhaps this is the day. Perhaps this is the blog. Perhaps this is also the day when I say goodbye to 'Baloney of Thoughts'.

She is wonderful. Period.

Uncontrollable, vivacious, like a soothing river taking turns in the never ending valley. I tried following her flow and it put me in a trance. She is much too deep for me. The smooth ebb on her surface is but a cover of her unfathomable reach. Few can hope to see it revealed, even fewer will actually find that hope ensue. I tried. Was there any other option? Like a romantic lost for words, actions and even thoughts, I just tried. In the manner of speaking, I tried without even trying. She was indecipherable. Almost like a badly written story, one, whose author might have found his own creation too cosmic to give it away that freely.

So what am I? Am I the puppet? More than a puppet. A willing slave to every untamed gesture from her. I am free. Free to do everything for her. In her footsteps I have long bequeathed my life. She changes her color every minute and every second in between those minutes. Like a Chameleon, she is too hard to grasp and even harder to hold on too and every time, you are taken deeper down. I know what is going to happen to me. But she already has me in her hands. No Escape. I don’t want to escape. I have long decided to find the end.

She is going to make another turn and I, as always, will follow. The swirls will get wilder, the turns more pronounced. She will make my life tough. But I have long decided to find the end.

This is life and she is wonderful.

Life is free... Life is cruel. It has thrown us into this world without anything in particular to be done. There was the age when conventional lifestyle embedded in our thinking by parents, teachers and the society at large allowed us to live without any thought. But that age is past...lost.

The sparrow lashed it's wings

In midway flight, it looks above

In it's mind something rings

forgot to fly, it dipped low

Crash!! What death brings

is an end. Nothing new.