Baloney of thoughts

Second Leap of Faith

2011-09-03T23:56:00.000+05:30

Switching off from your Blog is not a nice act. It is easy but not nice.

On that cold night in the 1st of January 2011, I suddenly felt I needed a reason to blog. Thought hard. Thought weird. But sadly enough I really couldn't find anything which explained why I keep on writing stuff which could not be 'label'ed in any sort of way. It was a leap of faith. A belief that discarding something unreasonable in life can be as much of a life changer as accepting something new.

Today I realized I am quite the narcissist. I like my writing. I like reading what I write. In fact I like it more than most of what other's write.

Work is seriously boring. It has taken a turn for the worst and I feel like a slave when I think about Office. I am sure a real slave would be insulted. I rephrase - I feel like slaving relative to others in my business. Any work without your mind and passion in it is boring.

Toastmasters has been the single most wonderful thing which happened in the last few months. What a refreshing thought to go to one of those TM meetings and just unwind. Doing what you like is a gift from heaven.

I am confused still. Somethings simply don't change.

This blog is going to take a different turn. After all, a leap is nothing but a turn in disguise.

Happy New Year

2011-01-01T00:36:00.006+05:30

4 years earlier, if any one had asked me how I would feel about my blog at this juncture, I wouldn't have been able to comment. I remember my first post with that whacky reference to 'Team Rockets'. Feels nostalgic and nice to see what I was back then and how much (or how little) I have changed.

Over the past few years, so much has happened to my life.
Stopped Studying.
Got a job.
Got a taste of the great IT life.
Reached that point where I wished I was back studying.
Got angry.
Got Betrayed.
Learned the virtue of patience.
Learned how difficult it is to follow a virtue.
Fell in love for the first time.
Believes that love is always and always one-sided.
Got many friends.
Learned the importance of friendship and the fickleness too.
Read so much. Wrote so much. Learned so much.
Feels so good when I realize I am still hungry for more.
Learned finally the importance of family.
Believes that one should never sacrifice oneself for anything. Between the trade-offs, it is just not worth it.
Thought so much about life.(Somethings never change)
After many epiphanies, I am still thinking about life. No end to that. I like it that way.

I have been planning lot of things. Should do something about a couple of them. Time to shed the life of a romantic. It needs a leap of faith. Perhaps this is the day. Perhaps this is the blog. Perhaps this is also the day when I say goodbye to 'Baloney of Thoughts'.

2010-12-11T22:50:00.002+05:30

She is wonderful. Period.

Uncontrollable, vivacious, like a soothing river taking turns in the never ending valley. I tried following her flow and it put me in a trance. She is much too deep for me. The smooth ebb on her surface is but a cover of her unfathomable reach. Few can hope to see it revealed, even fewer will actually find that hope ensue. I tried. Was there any other option? Like a romantic lost for words, actions and even thoughts, I just tried. In the manner of speaking, I tried without even trying. She was indecipherable. Almost like a badly written story, one, whose author might have found his own creation too cosmic to give it away that freely.

So what am I? Am I the puppet? More than a puppet. A willing slave to every untamed gesture from her. I am free. Free to do everything for her. In her footsteps I have long bequeathed my life. She changes her color every minute and every second in between those minutes. Like a Chameleon, she is too hard to grasp and even harder to hold on too and every time, you are taken deeper down. I know what is going to happen to me. But she already has me in her hands. No Escape. I don’t want to escape. I have long decided to find the end.

She is going to make another turn and I, as always, will follow. The swirls will get wilder, the turns more pronounced. She will make my life tough. But I have long decided to find the end.

This is life and she is wonderful.

Revelation

2010-10-11T07:00:00.008+05:30

26/12/2006. The day had many specialties. It was one day after Christmas, one of my best friend managed to start his account in the world around 19 years earlier on the same day and someone died on that day. I dont exactly remember who died. He must be a relative of mine. I remember clearly taking my Grandma to see his body. But like so many of our generation, I was too pre-occupied to ask how I was related to the deceased. He had visited our house earlier and even gifted me a T-shirt. I remember him clearly as a giant of a man, cheerful and very friendly too. Hence it felt pretty weird to see his body lying there dead and all life gone. I didn feel any grief or even sadness. After all I hadnt known him enough. That night I started writing 'Genesis'.

In many ways death is the greatest thing about life. It is a surety which breaks through all the confusion that is so typical of Life. In many ways it also the biggest yardstick for living. Nothing helps you to prioritize life more than death. You cannot do it when someone close to you dies. The grief which engulfs our body also poisons our thoughts. But death as an abstract philosophical thought conveys lot of meaning to life.

I wrote 'Transition' on 27/12/2006 and 'Revelation' on 28/1/2007. This completes my 'LIFE' Trilogy. For a very long time, I have been thinking real hard whether to put 'Revelation' on this blog. It seemed only normal to put it and complete the trilogy. But the truth is I dont agree to revelation in many ways. I have had the revelation and life has not shifted any planes in one giant sweep. Now when I think abt it, revelation should have came second in order between Genesis and Transition. It is like the words "If all Genesis should end in a revelation, then all life is but a transition". Thus the words should mean that the real revelation should come after life. Maybe its like what the movies say, just when we are going to die, the whole life will flash in front of us. Maybe thats the time for revelation.

Revelation
(28/01/2007)

Hidden carefully in the rocky hedges
seen seldom but in the mighty cliffs
revealed only with a trembling ecstasy
the purpose of life is nothing but joy.

It’s path is split into mighty roads
Of sand and water, with forks and turns
Be it the mighty ocean or the unrivalled heat,
the treasure is found but in both.

A palace of such glory in the middle of the desert
A desolate road through heat and dust
A looming mirage always surging ahead
Until death a joyful experience indeed.

The golden bubble splashes on your face
It’s cool gaze tampering your pace
An insane doctor with a twisted smile
His weapon of choice is nothing but love

The mighty roads are paths of freedom
of justice and truth, not decisions in random
‘Survive’ the storm and the scorching heat?
The agony of Hades – eternal fate!

Worth is money and love it’s price
The most selfish act which hide no lies
You will walk through the gates of heaven
Rejoice, love in soul for the ultimate one.

P.s. I started writing this post on 3rd May 2009. 1 year, 5 months and 8 days later. I am still confused as to whether I should post it or not...

2010-08-29T11:52:00.004+05:30

Life is free... Life is cruel. It has thrown us into this world without anything in particular to be done. There was the age when conventional lifestyle embedded in our thinking by parents, teachers and the society at large allowed us to live without any thought. But that age is past...lost.

When one discover the freedom to think, does he ever wonder on the magnanimity of what lies ahead. Of what that freedom can do to you. Of what will happen if we fail to find an answer.

The sparrow lashed it's wings
In midway flight, it looks above
In it's mind something rings
forgot to fly, it dipped low
Crash!! What death brings
is an end. Nothing new.

Death is inevitable. Fair. A perspective to an otherwise chaotic life... One certain thing in a life of uncertainties...

At the end of the day, what is the point? One has to wait till the end to get the point...I guess!!!

A car ride and what it can do to you

2010-07-17T15:38:00.006+05:30

Today I dropped off my brother to his workplace and was returning back home. The nightmarish traffic in Bangalore means that every car ride will have an adventure of its own and by no means would be a small affair. Stuck in traffic, listening to the hymn of "Hossana from Vinayethandi Varuvayya by A.R.Rahman", eyes gazing at the sights afar, one hand resting on the gearbox and another on the side pane, I suddenly found another member for my list.

The list - Yes! That is a long story. The story starts with my best friend who introduced me to the concept of bucket list. I still don't know much about her list or how much she had completed it. But for a person who was having difficulty in even forming the list, completing it was totally out of question.There are very few - that which can be counted in my hands- things in my list. The only one which could be mentioned over here must be to have a personal library of my own. Quite an exotic image appears in my mind when I think about MY library - But I guess it will still have to wait. For now I am happy hunting for the books which will finally make it to my library.

But today I could come up with another one. A car ride through a desolate (occasional traffic is fine ;) and bullocks are also permitted) road. 60 Kmph seems a nice pace. I am obviously driving. It would be wonderful to have someone(?) sit besides me. For now I would be listening to "Hossana" but I am pretty sure that would change by that time. No A.C.! Windows rolled down and I like the air warm. Not much work for the gear shaft which means something to drink by my side. The occasional fields, forests, beaches and the ROAD. The setting is pretty exotic but if not why put it in the bucket.

I am confused beyond wits. An "Emotional Atyachar" in a sense. I feel peaceful, taken away into this distant dream. But somehow an invisible voice is ringing in my ears making it turbulent. Last 8 months were wonderful. New! Exciting! But... I wanted it to be something more. Greedy thoughts. I did nothing towards my bucket list. Whatever was left in the pipeline is still there. Not rotting down. But definitely subdued by the lack of pressure in the pipe. It is as if it has a mind of its own and is suddenly asking me : Dude Are you serious about all these things?

My answer: Read my blog :)

Milkshake

2009-09-19T22:54:00.000+05:30

Courtesy: Before Sunrise

Daydream delusion, Limousine Eyelash
Oh, baby with your pretty face
Drop a tear in my wineglass
Look at those big eyes
See what you mean to me
Sweet cakes and MILKSHAKES
I am a delusion angel
I am a fantasy parade
I want you to know what I think
Don't want you to guess anymore
You have no idea where I came from
We have no idea where we're going
Launched in life
Like branches in the river
Flowing downstream
Caught in the current
I'll carry you. You'll carry me
That's how it could be
Don't you know me... Don't you know me by now

2009-09-14T20:43:00.003+05:30

Weird thing about life is the uncertainty that it throws in your way every now and then. I think my last post covered this particular dilemma, and in quite detail. These are the times when my level of desperation tips over the red zone. But despite the cynicism, I always find myself, what's the term - 'back to the drawing board' after these occasional bouts. This is a period of calm or if described a little more adjectivally - like the lull after a storm. When the out-pour of emotions, be it happiness, grief or anxiety simply cease to exist because the body has somehow adjusted to the chemicals.

Right now I have re-discovered life.
Will it be any different?
Past experience doesn't support my cause. Maybe just another 'thing' which will go back along with the thousand other times when such discoveries were made.
Someone says 'Man's mind, stretched by a new idea, never goes back to its original dimensions" - I take hope from these words.

Even though every part of your bundled network of neurons says it is not true, "sometimes all that is required for a paradigm change is a birthday, a speech or an inspiring talk, a new experience, meeting a person, a kiss, one fine bath or even a few words in your blog saying "I am different now"

[Titles are overrated]... for now

2009-09-09T05:46:00.002+05:30

Aah! The frog just jumped from the pan... u cannot complain since heavy chance that it has heard about its proverbial cousin... But the frog needs to be killed coz if not the whole world is in danger - come to think abt it when has the world never been in danger - hm-mm! ny ways back to the frog which is trotting arnd the garden apparently not realizing the fact that it has broke the most sacred of rules...I am still staring at the frog trotting in the garden...

What is this thing with life? Just when you thought you go the hang of it - KABOOM! I like it when I don't know what to do...

Yep I am thinking about the invisible army that needs to be conjured to kill this blasphemous-no respect for rules-trotting arnd the garden unnecessarily frog. Plato would probably help. Aristotle - I am not sure.

I dont see why I would need any of them to kill this 'stupid' (the word means awfully lot of different things) frog. But when u dont know what to do, its always good to have someone along with u...and what...If u are a good a**, then get the other person to do it.

At this point of story, I think (really?), I should say what I have got against this FROG. Dont u c..if the forg had just stayed then everything taht was ever written would have been enough. Not anymore.

Wherz the frog?

I like the movies. I like it when the on-screen gaints put life before you in such simple terms...Like they chew entire books of philosophy and spit out a word or two and that is all tat means to life. the question is - Is life taht simple. Can it be summed up in two words or a thousand or even voulmes of books. Or is it the inevitable thirst of man to comprehend the nature that is at work. To simpify things.. To make out a pattern. To put ut in in simple terms bcoz complex isnt his cup of tea... Maybe life is complex... too complex. One that changes too much for any sort of absolute. Not even an absolute of change. Not even an absolute of unpredictability. To complex to be put in words. Something that should not be solved.

Well the frog escaped. Why the hell am I still here...

p.s. This blog is a reminder to all my friends who continually ask me to put my uncensored and uncompleted blogs. This is my way of saying ...'You had it coming".....I wouldnt be putting ny more....I love u guys too much....This all doesnt mean I cannot say the same to you.

p.p.s. No frogs were hurt in the making of this story... :D sorry but could not help it

p.p.s I still like movie quotes...the one that i could think of now...

Dark and difficult times lie ahead. Soon we must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy.

p.p.p.s I like post scripts and post post..... scripts.

A tryst with chicken

2009-06-13T21:53:00.002+05:30

Learning life skills is the new item on menu and I am all raring to go. Forget the noodles, roast and the occasional helping out in kitchen; I am really pathetic when it comes to cooking. If I myself didn’t know that till now, well yesterday was a day of reckoning.

I finally got the go ahead to do a fish fry. Confidence was brimming since I got loads of experience in the frying part from previous helping. But this time around it was different. The finer points of cooking skills, like cleaning, cutting and masala mixing was also tested. The one word that could describe the whole process is ' Frightening'. The fish looked like it came straight from a post-mortem after the cleaning. Well that is how my brother described it anyway. After the marinating part, one could attribute it to a “cover up job of a murder victim gone astray”. I hoped the looks wouldn’t hamper the taste as much as the appetite. But that was not to be so. The masala didn’t set properly in the meat and finally we had to eat some raw pieces of garbled fish that would have put even prehistoric man to shame.

Never to give up that easily, today was the turn of chicken. The pieces were already cut properly by the butcher. So one job less to mess up. My mom having finally learned a painful lesson not to pin too much hope on me gave a hands on teaching of how to do 'broasted chicken'. The marinating, the mixing and the frying went pretty well. I even got ingredients right. I may have over fried a couple of pieces but guess what - not only was the whole stuff tasty, but it was also my first successful endeavour in the kitchen. One more thing to brag about in the blog. Chao :)

:) :D :( :)

2009-06-05T12:31:00.004+05:30

A tinge of sorrow, lots of happiness and memories that maketh life. This is how I am gonna step down from Bethany Student Centre - My home for the last two years. This will be the last blog from my dear hostel. Funny!! Thinking how the next post will divide blog into a pie. The larger part comprising of the musings of a Bethanian and the smaller of an ex-bethanian. In time the pie will change its mix i.e. If I continue blogging. But I hope the memories in this place wont disappear as easily as the shrinking part of the pie.

The whole 'home' trotting started right after from entrance exam. My mother realized enough is enough and proposed to move into the city. After all nothing should stand in the way of a repeater to reach into the halls of some reputed college. A massive place but with no ambiance, is how I describe our first attempt at city life. I was amazed at how easily my mom adapted to this new life while I spent half the time grumbling about - well basically everything in life. 2 months later - It was goodbye to our house and my repeat course in Zephyr as I finally joined MBCET as a Mechanical engineer. It is weird how to think how life would have been had I taken a different path.

The second so called house was as different as chalk and cheese when compared to first. A warmer house owner, very small rooms (well one hall, bedroom and a kitchen for the three of us - There is no question of space thats for sure), wonderful ambiance and two totally different personalities. I found the life very refreshing especially since Mech class was wonderful. Not quite the same for my mother who had to take 3 buses to reach her place of work. The grind followed and off we packed our bags again. At this point of time, me and my brother had become excellent at packing and moving - Another life skill learnt.

The 3rd move was to be the end of the 3 musketeers - at least for some time. My mother went abroad to live with my father. Bro packed his bags and went off to Infosys and I was left off at the only alternative to the whole situation - College Hostel. It need not be said that I hated it there - It got little to do with my hostel mates and everything to do with the college. To live or better - to 'survive' college is an arduous task enough. One that need constant support from all corners especially your friends. But to go through this charade and come back to a hell of different kind is too unbearable. Also for a person who respects his privacy beyond any measure - hostel life can be tough. I got very little from hostel except my room mate who turned out to be a wonderful friend. Finally enough was enough and I packed my bags again. A brief stint at home and off I was to my home away from home - Bethany Student Centre.

I recall how frightened I was at arriving here. Very different from my previous experiences and very different for a 3rd year too. In every manner this is the only place which I could call a home away from home. Here I made friends but was never expected to sacrifice my space. Here I respected people and was in turn respected by others. Here I worked my ass out for the different activities and finally got the satisfaction which was much needed. This is a wonderful place with so diverse characters that it is impossible not to experience a change in yourself. Your thoughts, your views, your principles, your actions. Everything changes. I still remember:

2 in the nite with a coffee cup in hand watching the Manutd Chelsea UEFA final. Nail-bitting finish. Countless such occasions shared with the ever present football communtiy at Bethany.
100 people glaring at the screen throwing obsenities at each other on the eve of the two IPL's.
Sitting so many times in the raised platform after a match of football - just enjoying the site.
Sleeping so late, waking so early, countless nite-outs. I still remember sleeping at 2 in the nite after decorating christmas tree nd waking at 4 to go to the market to buy fish for the feast.
The wonderful mess we ( ME , JACOB and MANU) did which featured some exciting dishes - toasts on sundays, chilly chicken on mini-feast and biriyani on feast day.
The card games between the awesome four (ME, JACOB, SALIM and SUBIN).
The 2009 Lok sabha in front of TV with a heated discussion about politics between the engineers, doctors, IAS aspirants and the list goes on.
Such diverse topics from politics, theology , bikes, technolgy, love, sex etc. (I really dont think there is any category we haven talked about)
and (there is so much more) The final farewell (Abi chetan, Ambu, Rolly, Lee, Raghu, Salim, Jacob and me) where I totally felt ' This are the best days of my life' (Corny ..I know..but isnt so life??)

This is one place which I would miss to live and would love to live again.

The wall

2009-05-28T18:23:00.003+05:30

Run Fat boy Run - A movie which I watched recently which features a typical looser and his attempt to shed his past by featuring in the annual London marathon. But most importantly, the movie presents to the audience a paradigm call 'THE WALL'. The wall is an invisible obstruction that every runner should face at some time during the marathon. You limbs go week. You heart bleeds for air. You feel dizzy. Every step forward becomes excruciatingly painful and every breath asks you to give up. ( I see the movie has made an effect on me).

In many ways, in the world of blogosphere, this is my condition . For the past few months I have been really trying to write blogs and ended up with at least 10 half written un-presented blogs and even worse a couple of badly written presented ones. Is this my try at whining . I really don't know. The point is half way through every post , I hit the wall. I felt what I have written is not good enough and well there isn't anything to write further even.

* I just hit the wall *

Post Election Blues

2009-05-15T15:26:00.004+05:30

My thoughts about putting such a blog has been flip - flop. Ofcourse, the prediction will not alter the result in any manner. Had it been, I wouldn't have choosen to do so either. Actually I kind of feel the same way during a fantasy premeir league match or the erstwhile superselector league. To take a shot in the dark and then wonder how close you are to the original. I have been so engrossed in this election for the past few months that I am starting to feel ashamed of the same. To such heights as to ask the question "Why waste your time". The so called battle of politks is so much against the spirit of the country that it wouldnt be surprising if there is another election within the next two years. All that - may be in another blog.

Here is my prediction for Lok Sabha Polls from Kerala.

UDF = 12
Ernakulam, Pathanamthita, Thrissur, Chalakudi, Wayanad, Ponnani, Malapuram, Mavelikara
Close call: Kottayam, Alapuzha, Trivandrum,

LDF = 8
Kasargod, Vadakara, Kannur, Alathoor, Palakkad
Close call: Kozhikode, Attingal, Kollam, Idukki

BJP = 0
But I expect them to do a good show in Trivadrum, Palakkad and Kasargod.

NCP = 0
Party crashers. Mureleedharan may turn out to be a dark horse in Wayanad. But maybe not tmmrw.

My constituency - Trivandrum

Too many under currents. BJP and BSP could split the votes in a major way. NCP factor is also present. All in all a tight race . I am taking a blind guess when I predict Shashi Tharoor to beat Ramachandran Nair. But either way the win margin is gonna be small.

A photofinish match

2009-05-07T02:20:00.002+05:30

A match like no other. It was not the quality of play that made this match memorable nor the context. It was that one single moment in the 93rd minute of the game when Inneista scored the winning goal for Barcelona. YEP!! I just saw the semi-finals of the UEFA champions league. Barcelone defeated Chelsea (1-1) on away goals. Another minute or so without a goal and Chelsea would have raced to the finals of the most coveted trophy in club football. But that was not to be so.

With all due sympathy for Chelsea, that moment was really beautiful. The game was really dominated by Chelsae. Barca never seemed like scoring, nd if my stats are right, I think the winning goal was the first shot on target too. But suddenly without even a faint warning, they scored. The 3/4th of the stadium clad in Blue, who were celebrating (from the 9th minute onwards) suddenly silenced. But even this pain is no comparison to the one felt by the coach nd players.

I still wonder. How do they take it?? I have never experienced something like this. To want something so much, to get it in yours hand's range and then to loose it in a single fleeting moment.

But then again like every time, they would rise up. After the break down, the silent thoughts, the pep talks nd the rising excitement, the same players would come to the field for another match. Maybe a prayer in thier mind that 'Not this time'.

My heart condolences to Chelsea in this great loss. Best of luck to Barca for the finals. (They would need it. They are gonna face Manchester United :) in the finals)

Election Fever has hit the town

2009-04-15T17:50:00.005+05:30

April 16 marks the first phase of the 2009 election for LS Polls. To me its very special coz its my first vote or my 'kanni' vote. It feels really good. For years, I had this terrible feeling that I never do ny ting for my country. Now I ask - should I?? India is the largest democracy of the world and is making an ass out of it. The subject of politics is too diverse and complex to be analyzed over a blog like this, so I will pass it. In many ways, I am so typical of the new generation of youth - 'the youngistan's. I am not that patriotic ny more - the erstwhile history and geography leasons we learned in our school forgotten long ago. I dont have ny loyalities - every party is a facade. I dont believe in any candidates. The ones who have already been there are all shrewd, tactical, self -serving and f#$&*# morons in one way or another. There are a couple of new guys in the block, but history shows that it wont be long before they are also 'politicized' by our system. But what really put me off was the candidate list in in northern parts of our country. Murders, extortion, vandalizing - all of them are laurels on their political career. Stars used to decorate and show off their stature.

" Hey! You only have 3 murders to ur list. I have 4."

"Oh really, Ok u rightly deserve the candidate post"

The only common thread between all the parties (National or regional) is that when it comes to everything bad abt our democracy, they are all up for it.

I remember yesterday talking to a friend of mine. A passionate loyalist to his party. He was by all means engaged in the election and was canvasing for his favourite candidate. He later confessed to me one thing - When it comes to politics, almost everyone is ignorant. Now thats the only thing I agreed with him that day :).

But still with everything. I feel it is the right and responsibilty of every Indian to vote. If someone wants to change the system, well and good. But till then, go cast your votes. If you dont, they will win any way. It doesnt matter if there is 80% polling or 20%, the election stands and someone wins. The point is, then the choice is left to an even narrow minded group. It is rightly said that:

" Democracy is not where you choose the best among the candidates, it is where you choose the least worst among them"

In many ways, this is 'THE' election for me. No only being my first, I am also very intrested to know what lies ahead, I hope I dont have to think abt visas and immigration. I have done what I think is , my part in this election. I know every candidate in my constituency (Atleast the importent ones). I know most of the candidates in the state, their chances, their party agendas, the virtues and vice (even though most of them are pack of lies). I heard many of their speech and threw up and listened to even more. I have tried to keep the 'national perspective' in the equation, but good god !! The only thing I can say is that the field is wide open. I put myself through lot of canvasing. I called a friend of mine day b4 yesterday to wish him vishu and he canvased me for 45 min (Bloody idiot :D, but then again I like talking politics). But at the end of canvasing, I have not promised to ny one ny ting. Yes!! I have a favourite candidate and I have looked at evrything I could abt him (well not everything....but the general facts). After all this, I was specific not to influnce any one to vote for any party bcoz then I would be veryy much part of the sytem that I loath. I have been an undecided voter even today but knew exactly who to vote when I was in the polling booth. I went and cast my vote in the early hours (the radio warned me of false votes towards the end of voting). I wouldnt say who I voted - not even to God. This is me being an Indian :)

P.S. - Now waiting for 30 days of pure entertainment.

P.P.S - Btw my friend promised he will shave his head off, if his candidate looses. Now thats an example of a promise he cant keep - already a poltitician :D

Cowputra and the Five Clowns

2009-03-09T21:20:00.006+05:30

I have been wanting to write a story in my blog for some time now. So here it goes. The story is for a selected few and any resemblence to real chrachters or other things are purely coincidential. ( Yeah WTF)

Prelude

The story is about five clowns studying in the 'Blah Blah' Nursery of 'Chori'-craft and 'Chori'-zardy. The Nursery is run by the greatest Choris of all time. In an effort to Chori innocent people and to make this world more chorifying, the 'Blah Blah' Nursery has a grueling 4 year 'Chori' course. There are so many disciplines of chori run by different Chori- OD's. Basically they are same - like colored water. Then when they reach the final sem of the final year after 3 and 1/2 grueling years of chori, the students have to face the 'mother of all chori's' - 'The Project-ion'.

The five clowns (protagonists of our story),founding members of the cult 'Group 4', are described below. Unlike the chori, the clowns are simple people who want to bring happiness to the world. Their only wish is to escape the 'Blah Blah' Nursery without any loss of self-esteem.

'Persistent Leader' - The master deceiver. He uses his straight face to befriend 'Chori' mongers. This has saved the cult in quite a few occcasions. But honestly he is a 'klay'.

MR Business man(BMR) - He is the echo of the cult and uses his facial muscles nonchalently. The obvious listener may be confused beyond means. He is a passionate runner and is said to have a keen interest in shoes.

The Charming Princess - Good looks and raunchy jokes apart, the guy has a special abilty to charm people. But it works more at getting additonal (and totally undeserved) se'x'ional marks rather than dates with his countless girlfriends.

The smart A** - Descriptions are know to vary.

Kidu - So Says Himself" - A person who likes to think he looks good. While he is a 'pulli' (read:Tiger) he can turn into a totally different person on wearing a red hat. Now seems totally committed to pass his GUPPLI'S (or GUPPLEMENTARIES). Even despite much hardship, he continues to fail in subjects including 'Dictation', 'Walking with toes pointed forwards' and 'Talking using Two letter English Words'.

Chapter 1 - High hopes

In order to pass the degree, the clowns were supposed to do a 'project-ion' in the final semester. It was then that the 'Group 4' decided to do their 'project-ion' in some industry. 'The Charming Princess' was given the task to find a suitable place. After all he is the Master of 'Project-ion' rght?? Thus the Clowns find themselves staring into the gates of Cowputra.

Now Cowputra is one of the premier institutions in the whole nation. Their expertise include aiming certain pointed stuff at sky and 'bang'ing them half way through thus loosing millions of rupees in process. They are also know to help students with the 'project-ion'. Students who have their 'project-ion' at cowputra is said to have an enhanced (or high profile) project-ion which will later help them to find jobs. They were told by the 'Blah Blah' that better project-ion means better job prospects.

Thus the 'Group 4' spend around 6 months working on their project-ion. Now the process of project-ion in an industry is very different from individual 'project-ions'. The better part of it is done in front of the gate. The usual project-ion needs atleast a 2 hour wait, while the gaurds there discuss about the security concerns relating to the cowputra. I mean if someone infiltrates the facility and made any changes to the pointed stuff. Then it may NOT 'blow' up half way through. Oh!! That must be scary. IT may actually reach the target - Gee that is a big dissapointment. Oh wait May be they are afraid someone will steal the research material - Oh as if the whole world is intrested in knowing how to 'bang' half way through the projectile.

Chapter 2 - Back at Blah Blah

Aah Yes the 5 clowns are required to give a status of the 'project-ion' in a review back at Blah Blah. Around half way through, suddenly the people at Blah Blah say that this is not enough. We will only get less credit, because apparently our individual contribution to the 'project-ion' not good enough. Apparently they wanted 'project-ions' to be more 'Hands on'. Infact in our selected discipline they like to get our hands dirty so as to say:)

Chapter 3 Between Blah Blah and Cowputra

In an effort to work with their hands and increase the profile of their 'project-ion', the clowns started to work even more. Another 3 months they toiled. They went to places, visited more nurseries, talked with lots of people on how to increase (the profile of course!) of our 'project-ion'. Finally They included an analysis of the projection, some comparison between local and cowputra material used for project-ion and even some hand on approach. All seems to go well.

Chapter 4 WTF

Phone Ringing
CA: You cannot achieve 'project-ion' here.
Persistant Leader (PL): But Why sir?? We tried for 6 months.
CA: Your time was 6 months. u need to extend the date to do ny more project-ion
PL: OK Sir! We will extend the date.

(The clowns spend another 2 weeks trying to extend the date and paid around 12500 Rs in the process)

Phone Ringing
CA: We cannot extend your date!
PL: But Sir!! Why??
CA: There is a directive banning any more 'Student project-ions' here.In Industry these things are important. So U have to go.
PL: But Sir! We have almost finished our project-ion. But we need your certificate to validate it.
CA: We will think abt it

(After another 2 Weeks)

CA: Sorry But it is not possible.
PL(Fed up): OK Sir! Can we have the money back??
CA: Sure But we will take some time to process it. Also we are busy this time around. We got a 'miss-ile' to blow up half way through.

(It is like you are about to Bang and they say Stop!! Around 7 Months of 4play and suddenly they withdraw permission to do s'e'x. WTF!!)

FORWARD

The clowns got permission to do their project-ion in another industry. They need to start anew and finish the project-ion in 2 months time. Apparently this industry liked very fast project-ions. But then again at this point WHO CARES?? The clowns visited, called and pleaded for their money for another Month. Finally Cowputra agreed to give their money back. One fine morning when smart a** was sleeping.

Phone Ringing
Charming Princess: Get up! Come fast to Cowputra! They need all the people to give the money back.
smart a**: WHY the hell. Why cant they just give it to u?? IT is not like they are going to give suitcases filled with money.
CP: Just come fast !! Apparently this is how they do it in industries.

Smart a** reflecting: Aah So this is what industries teach us. WE learned more abt chori from 7 months of cowputra than 4 years in Blah Blah.

That noon the five clowns left the cowputra gate for the last time, their pocket 2500Rs a peice richer. For the first time there was a smile lingering on their faces!!

P.S. This story is not a comedy. The author never intended this piece to be comical. He may have intended to hurt few imaginary souls and sarcastically bash certain customs and institutions. Any comical gestures (mainly dry and sarcastic) are only means to achieve this effect.

P.P.S: The Charming princess is advised not to take this matter any further. The IRONBOX will be too hot for him to handle then.

(A Story by Smart A**)

Friendship

2009-01-09T18:26:00.002+05:30

Yes poem again!! Sorry this is my blog :D. Against many advice and criticism, I am still going ahead putting all my erstwhile poems. Yes it is cheesy and an attempt at rhyming is very evident. But then again what do you expect from a 11th standard boy? When I am through with my past collections maybe I will try writing again and hopefully better ones...but knowing me that is a tall order:-)

Friendship
(poem written on 23/7/2004)
Dedicated to the ' Golden Group' of friends

I first saw you on that day
when you and me went to play.
We had a little fight
and I quickly left your sight.

Next day I was full of worry
and you later came to say sorry.
There starts our friendship
something like an unsinkable ship

In our class, you sat by my side.
I talked with you nothing to hide.
We ate our lunch together
and with you I didn't have nay fear.

There weren't any turgid or deep waters.
Life was simple, as if nothing matters.
When you were sad about your dears
my shoulder was full of your tears.

Within our friendship a web was cast
in which was stuck the memories of past,
day and day we pondered over it
falling deeper and faster in the pit.

A rainbow!! we counted its colors.
and a sunny day we went after flowers.
In a playground we were enemies
but outside - eternal friends.

There were times when we had a fight
but a day or two and it was lost.
I went to your house and spent my night
and in your home, I was the host.

When at night, we count the stars
match them up with love from far
play with toys of fun and joy
hear those music so sweet!! Oh Boy!!

In your company I felt no shame
when we made together one single aim
one of these says we may finally part
but friends we will remain in our heart.

Golden Era

2009-01-08T21:21:00.002+05:30

The last 3 years of my school life at 'CNS' was perhaps the most exciting period of my life. Now when I look into it, the happiest too. It was the time when I finally started to make friends. Much different from the earlier times when friendship was result of sharing side-by-side seats or hailing from the same location. It was also the time when make-ups and break-ups started to happen. I had my fair share of both perhaps the latter being more pre-dominant.

During this Christmas, I had the chance to meet my oldest and in my words - the "Golden group" of friends. Close to 4 years have past since our parting. Yes there have been phone calls in between. Msgs and email sent and received to fill the gaps created by time. But in matter of friendship, nothing enough, not even close to live up to the legend left by our friendship in the first place. But when we finally meet, time and space seem to melt away as if it has been an illusion all along. Everyone has changed but somehow they all seem to be the same for each other. Nowadays if someones says 'I missed you', the first thing that comes to my mind is doubt. A question mark at his/her sincerity of the statement. I almost always reply with a grunt implying that such exhibition of love and friendship is beyond me. But this was a meeting where such generous show of affection looked very natural and only seem to warrant a reply of the same nature. Nothing seemed out of context.

After years of following Ayn Rand and her interesting look at relations, I have learned to be indifferent. But this is one group of people with whom I can be anything but indifferent. No matter how intelligent you think or how rationally you put it, I still get hope from their friendship.I can still feel the pangs of pain when something goes wrong and the joy of life when a phone call comes from them. The saying that "Love is not a choice, it just happens" is very true.

In 4 years of engineering, I have perhaps seen 10 times as many people as before. Talked and made acquaintance with such a lot of people. But there are so few among them that I can really call friends. Yes there are those who have breached my fortress of indifference to find place among the golden group of friends but the numbers speak for themselves. This is a new era much different from the older one. Here a more practical outlook and slightly grown-up intelligence have resulted in more acquaintances and less friends.

Friendship is like a beautiful and vintage bottle of wine. The older it goes, the better it becomes. It is also a very intoxicating drink. Here you can drown all your sorrows and celebrate all your joys.

Back to being practical, I dont think life is going to go this way. Things change. New people come into our lives and old ones depart. Even the ones we believe in may not always remain.But thats the rule of life "In love and friendship we can only give. Then you just wait with open arms to recieve whatever is thrown at your way"

A new year of sorts!!

2009-01-01T06:04:00.003+05:30

It is a revolting idea. How could this day be any important than any other day? In matter of time, date and place, it has no specialty. The earth revolves around the sun which means there is no single point of beginning. Thus this day could have been any other day. Yet this day stands on top of all others. One could argue that this is the mother of all days.

I remember talking to a friend of mine yesterday about how new year was a commercial invention. If that is the case, then it is perhaps the greatest marketing affair of all times. My friend was put down by my apparent lukewarm reaction to her 3 hour early new year wishing. But the truth is that I was in no mood to celebrate this day. New year is suppose to bring something new to life. It is suppose to be the day when we can start life anew, forgetting past mistakes. But somehow I didn't want this. I wanted it to pass without affecting me. Maybe years of making resolutions and breaking them has finally taken the toll on my spirits.

But somehow I couldn sleep. Needless to say, the hour long session of bursting crackers by my hostel inmates didn help. Thus I found myself wandering the familiar territory of hope for a new year. I was skeptical !! How could you not be? But the truth is it is better to hope and fail rather than letting it go. In reality I am still the confused soul. The midnight chimes have done no alteration. But somehow it just feels good :)

A Broken Promise

2008-12-28T11:04:00.004+05:30

This was a poem which I wrote not long ago for a friend of mine. I recently happened to know that she is reading this particular blog. The poem is extremely mushy but then again I like it that way.

Also I guess there is no point in putting the poem on this blog without explaining the context in which I wrote it. If I remember correctly, it all started a with a poem. Now this particularly wonderful girl gave me one of her poems to read and read I did. I got her to promise me, to phone that night and explain the poem, which she did not. Now remember this was a time I was still gripping over my ISC creative muse and expecting everyone to write poems with double edged meanings. Now a days I think poems are more like a work of art than an editorial in the newspaper. Just like a painting it is suppose to mean different things for different people. (What I meant is, I don't take critical reviews for my poems....it is just not the reason why I write it). Any ways this is a poem which I gave her back the next day...mushy !!!?

A Broken Promise
(27/2/2007)

An endless wait on a warm cozy bed,
a scary night but my hopes aren't dead
cold few hours from a much waited sunrise
but vexed am I with a petty broken promise.

Far had I traveled for the ultimate truth
deciphering thy mind in each treaded path
the bounty of success - a well deserved prize
for the danger in the road like a dead sick promise.

The glorious evidence was lying in my front
its untampered clues flying in my mind
a logical Sherlock, in search of an answer
but for my guesses, I felt a growing cancer.

This day, when the poems ends its round
an overdone mockery from my part, O friend
there is nothing to forgive, for I am not furious
but a cat I remain, chased by Mr. Curious.

Changing times

2008-12-15T00:33:00.006+05:30

Editorial I wrote for the college newsletter - 'The Fourth Module'
(03/12/2008)

Changing Times

A person dealing with the absolute can find this world extremely challenging. He wants a clear cut line between ‘right and wrong’, ‘true and false’ and a clear cut pathway to move forward. But the problem is that as soon as he figures out the world, the world changes. This is exactly what happened in the case of the recent ‘IT Meltdown’. For years pundits have been predicting jobs, more pay and uninterrupted growth. But the world was shook by the recent undulations in the stock market as Global Financial Crisis took its turn. But for every critic out there who wants to throw dirt at the system, things are going to change again. It is very important that all of us, who are standing on the threshold of our careers, realize the importance of change. We need to think beyond placements and conventional norms if we have to leave our mark in this world. In fact this is all part of the wagon wheel called life. It is inevitable that every crust be followed by a trough and vice versa.

The same can be held true for ‘The fourth Module’. The last two editions of our college newsletter not only throws light at the magnificent piece of work we have done in the past but also points us to our inability to continue the process. Success and Failure, like crusts and troughs, are part and parcel of life. Like Confucius said, “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall”. At this juncture, the decision of the new-born senate to re-start the magazine is commendable. In this era of changing times, it is very important to remember the words of Charles Darwin:

“It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.

Cricket Mania is back!!!

2008-11-13T18:37:00.003+05:30

"Royal Mech vs Generation Mech"

This is the headline of the latest news happening in our class. When we learned that the mechanical faculty actually had a 11 member cricket team, we never believed it would end in such a match - The students vs staff match. It is expected to happen tmmrw. In fact I am one of the member of the Challenger Team which really got a huge thrashing playing with our Class team in a friendly warm up match today. But I guess more than a few members of the class XI would agree that the warm up really helped especially if they got to beat the faculty tmmrw.

But let us travel back a little in time. The whole cricket mania erupted in our class when the BCCI announced the historic Indian Premier League ( spzl thanks to ICL for instigating them to do so). We pretty much enacted the process with real time bidding (with fake money of course), managers, cheerleaders ( Go!! sibu go!!) and of course cricket itself. While the stage set was not that big enough , the spirit was never lacking. In fact I was one of the bidders and our team Immortals was perhaps the best when it comes to spirit and hooliganism. We were also the only team to beat the Bethany Mustangs - the eventual winners. We were like the old Indian team - consistently inconsistent. At this juncture I would like to congratulate all the members of the MPL (Mechanical Premier League) for making it a huge success especially Kiran, Ajith and Thoufeeq for their coordination.

This actually makes me wonder how I got myself into this game. I was never a big fan of cricket at least not of the playing part. I usually spent my sporting abilities on soccer and badminton ( though a rather injured arm is not helping me in that). But cricket is one sport I enjoy even without winning, and I get to enjoy a lot ;) So whatever influenced me to play this game, I am glad I did.

This is a poem I wrote about Cricket. It was written long way back, so all critics out there plz be indulgent.

Cricket - The battle of Kings
{poem written on 12 /2/2003}

You see a game of cricket,
feeling a thirst for wicket,
fighting with a sword for runs,
training soldiers only for wins.

They take the sword not for kills.
But of ten take pills for their ills.
Hate, redress and revenge is found,
for they play like a growing hound.

Those who love their game of cricket
are rushing for a piece of ticket,
for leading them are the sons
of the mighty noble kings.

How not to 'CRACK' while doing CAT!!

2008-11-12T20:36:00.007+05:30

CAT - Now that is a three letter word which actually doesn't remind me of a real cat - you know the 4 legged creature which spent half its time combing its hair - In fact it has come to the point where u r really going to have trouble talking to animal lovers coz ny ting even related to cat will only remind u about the most hyped exam which is attended by well over 200000 people. CAT inspires us with percentiles, quant, verbal, analytical, mocks and those never ending jargon's which will turn any so called 'non-aspirant' to wonder which language we are talking, and indeed it is true. To many, CAT is an alternative form of life style, the highest purpose which drives them forward, the most revered exam which gives them shivers and so on and so forth. To some others it is just another exam to get a push forward in their social circles at the cost of embarrassment when the results are out. To others it is form of social charity with the sole purpose of increasing the percentile for the upper echelon - if they do realize that. Or it may be the placement wallahs who just couldn't differentiate an 'A' from 'R'. But while there are so many different segments of so called aspirants wanting to fulfill whatever purpose they have, I don't belong to any of them. In fact I belong to those 'dream weaving group' whose life were full of dreams about a certain three letter word but came to the realization long way back that, it is what it is - a dream.

It has been a long time since I moved from "Gosh!!! It must be cool to have a BLACKI" to "So which all are the other participating institutions in CAT". From then on, it was a spiraling journey along "I will definitely do it", "I can definitely do it", "I hope I will do it", "Will I be able to do it" and finally "What does it matter any way". But I have moved from that also and now stand in "GOD Please save me from this " since i started having these weird conversations:

J: So howz the CAT prep going?
CAT aspirant: not so good;
J: Really 100 percentile is not enough for u or what

P: So all set to crack the IIMs?
CAT aspirant: NOT really
P: Oh u r cho sweet and modest (followed by weird girly giggles - when will she realize I was not being modest)

CAT aspirant 1 : Oh I won’t get it. But u r so blah blah blah so u will get it
CAT aspirant 2: No I won’t get it bcoz of blah blah but since u r blah blah maybe u will...blah
CAT 1: NO u will
CAT 2 : NO u will
( I think u know how the rest of the conversation goes)

J again: So how’s the CAT prep going (no matter what you say I won’t believe it)
CAT aspirant becoming wiser: No comments

Now life has been this and many more since me and one of my nutty friend decided to drop CAT. For the record neither of us influenced each other! Now we are expected to travel to Kozhikode this Saturday along with 1000's of so called aspirants from all these segments. My initial apprehension at meeting these bhujis has been subdued by a friend who promised there are more guys like me. Now I can only think about the chance of meeting these day-dreamers and talk about 'Kozhikode biriyani's, the latest flick 'twenty twenty' or simply girls. Now while they are talking about tips on 'How to crack CAT', we will be talking about "How not to Crack under CAT":D

Transition

2008-11-01T19:04:00.003+05:30

As I lay down, a spark in my mind
rekindled thoughts, this time i will find
the answer to 'the' question
seldom pondered upon but in wisdom.

If all genesis should end in a revelation,
then all life is but a transition.

How Harry Potter Saved me!! Part 1

2008-10-26T19:57:00.007+05:30

I forget things very easily. Birthdays, dates, faces, names, characters - anything specific . Everything gets enveloped in a cloud of smoke with the passage of time no matter how memorable it may seem.But I soon found out that this particular defect which has produced quite a few problems in the never-ending exams, was actually a blessing in disguise. It helped when it mattered the most and that is in giving hours of pure happiness from reading some wonderful books - again and again.

I have always thought my family to be an introspective lot whom could at the same time give life to any social event. But while I may have inherited the former, somehow I have always remained aloof in the social part. Maybe the absence of any real pressure from my (intelligent) parents inspired my initial fantasy to books. Thus I spent hours and hours, behind wild and wonderful stories, which should rather have been spent learning or in comradeship. But while my parents continued to make my life easy, the same could not be said true for my acquaintances in class. A step into the pants of a teenager bestowed upon my ego a need for being known rather than knowing thyself. Thus came the transition of a fantasizing oddball to a normal person ( define normal as one who indulges in the pursuits that is followed by at least 75% of your peers:) .

But like a marriage never broken, I was re-united with my books by the stories about "the boy who lived" - special thanks to my friend Amol who not only introduced me to harry potter but also spent a lot of time coercing me to read it. It only took a few days for the 'mysteries of the the five, secrets of the seven, the charm of the drew and the bravery of the hardy' to be swept aside by the "Goblet of Fire", the first Harry Potter book I read. It was love at first sight. Soon I was saving every bit of money I could to bring my collection of HP books up to date. But the 5th book ( I was the first one in Trivandrum city to buy it or so the shopkeeper told me) came as a big disappointment for me which made me go after different authors notably Ayn Rand, Jeffrey Archer, Micheal Crichton, John Grisham, Dan Brown, Clive Cussler and lot more. This was also the time I became heavily influenced by the philosophies of Ayn Rand in her two books "The Atlas Shrugged" and "The fountainhead".

Genesis

2008-10-23T16:48:00.005+05:30

A sturdy oak tree in the burning forest
all life gone, a mere body in the midst.
When time and space sunk to variables
and I was hoping as ever for miracles.

A withered hand fighting for words
A brainless git lost among nerds
A confused mind searching for a reason
A hopeless soul crying for a revelation.

Tiredness engulf my skinny torso
fear unmasked from my pitiful face
O sympathy - why do you feel so good?
coz I am angry, rage revealing my side.

The pointer goes down to the beginning
its nature revealed only upon ending
This is the end of the beginning
and the genesis of another ending.

'PARLEY'......i swear i will write blogs regularly

2008-03-04T19:49:00.002+05:30

like the last time around:-\, and look how that turns out to be. nearly a year since my last post. But thats the problem with me...i am an extremely lazy and slothful person especially when it comes to wonderful things like writing blogs (see how i am full of atonement Kiera Knightley rocks!!). But the truth is writing a blog is really hard and doing that incessantly is even harder. I suddenly feel great respect 4 everyone trying in that respect....nd my whole new spirit nd the vow which i am never going to break (seriously !! considering never is ny other day:) owes its origin to one superb blog. not going to name that blog...sry guys it is the discretion of the artist( i couldn call her ny ting but that.......superb grl:)) i read the blog last day nd realized what a blog could do and that is to make our mind go nuts, to inject new patterns inside the thinking process which is already complex enough. BUT even better to churn out emotions as a grim aftermath to this unexplainable process. Infact it was the simple directnesss of her writing (something i cannot be credited with) that seriously made me fall in love wit that blog.......to that inspiring artist i say CHEERS!!!

"MOTIVE?//"ional - or is it?

2007-06-17T12:50:00.002+05:30

Well it has been some time........examz $%#& they are boring as usual. But i did get some work done. I read "The Monk who sold his Ferrari" which brings me to the current topic- motivational books. Are they any good? I have read quiet a few- my bro has a decent collection. Well my brother has always been the one intrested in these books. I generally go for the fiction books. Now the reason why i mostly find these books awry is bcoz they never fight the root cause but comes with a capsuled form of "How to succed in life". Now for a person like me who is far more intrested in searching the truth rather than finding it, this pose a serious accumulation of murky possibilities. Thus i spend myself pouring over bifurcate stories half expecting to learn something new and in constant vigil to find what is the real motive behind these motivational books. The only consequence of this worthy action was an incontrovertible failure at the task in hand and some intriguing hours of reading.

2007-05-03T19:13:00.000+05:30

Well finally i went to class today. My creative innovation of abdomen botheration was completly useless. The HOD didnt buy it, but it is not a prblm since i didnt sell it in the first place:-) Maybe the closing sessions of S4 classes has finally dawned upon him teh fact that "GOD i cannot save these imbecile lunatics ny way" The classes were boring as usual. Even the senescent GEN MECH spirit couldnt overcome the irksome experiences in my classroom. Aah I haven introduced GEN MECH have I? well GEN MECH OR GENERATION MECH(yipee i am a mechanical student) is what we call ourselves- the Mechanical students of our dear MBCET college. Check www.generationmech.com and you will get a feel of what we are. Well my gallient words about my own fellowship can be taken as a sign of haugtiness, so i better stop now. Will tell the Generation Mech details another time around.

Well Bye........

2007-05-02T11:02:00.001+05:30

Well it is a perfect day to start writing in my blog. I have just cut my classes. Well as a matter of speaking- missed my classes due to eh!! a triaxial botheration in my lower (left,right,centre) abdomen- hope the HOD buys it. I am not in general averse to attending classes, but then the monotony I experience in my classrooms boils over at some point or other(YEP!! I am an engineering student:) and i will have to resort to these implausibe ideas. A few hours in front my dear computer and i will have prepared myself for the slide back to the hamdrum experiences back at the college. But maybe it is not that bad after all!!

Well the obvious question that i need to answer is simple. Why the hell have u started this blog?? Being very rhetoric, I want to experience the pleasures of writing and experience the joy of sharing my ideas with my fellow 'human beings'. In identifying the facets of human life and aprreciating the values of 'Truth, love and Justice'(I love TEAM ROCKETS!!!) Aaaaaaaaah havent u still got the answer???? I dont have a clue wat i am doing :-) But i still mark my difference. I hate people who dont know a thing about "wat they are supposed:-/ to do" and glorify the fact that they are ignorant. I hope to score atleast some points in HUMAN EXISTANCE before my "life was gd till now...but u better hurry" life comes to an end.

Well I better stop. Hope to come back with some real news.